If we want to understand what Christian love is, we must begin not by talking about ourselves but by talking about the God who loves and whose love looks like Jesus Christ and him crucified for the remission of our sins.
The death of Christ at once shows the essential unity of the Father and the Son, and consummates the mutual society of God and man. The self-giving of God manifests itself in history, within the context of fallen creation, as the humiliation of the Son.
God’s love is something counter-cultural, offensive, and ego-insulting. It is not free, but costly.