My parishioners tell the story of how they decided who they wanted to be by observing what they never wanted to become. Years ago, during a time of great conflict, our diocese held a convention at my parish, St. Paul’s, in Murfressboro, Tennessee. The meeting was fraught with tension, and after a particularly contentious session, delegates spilled into the courtyard, frustrated and exhausted. When the break ended, the bishop invited everyone to gather for the Eucharist. Some delegates refused to return inside.
As the story goes, “Our members watched clergy turn away from worship and one another and resolved that we would never refuse to come to Christ’s altar together. Since then, no matter the disputes or struggles, when called to Communion, we come shoulder to shoulder to receive the body and blood of Jesus.”
This commitment to unity around Christ’s real presence in the Eucharist has become a defining part of my parish’s identity. We remind ourselves of this on Sunday mornings, over meals before vestry meetings, and even in social-media comments. St. Paul’s is a theologically and politically diverse church. Our members hold differing and often passionate convictions about many issues. As one parishioner jokingly said, “It takes a pretty wide stance to straddle the middle.” Yet at the altar rail, we are unified in our need for grace, repentance, and forgiveness, and in trusting that here, we will receive it. As Martin Luther said, “We are beggars, it is true. Alleluia, Alleluia!”
A Commitment to Eucharistic Unity
Our unity around the Eucharist is not just about harmony within the church; it is a matter of the Church’s mission to the world. Jesus’ high priestly prayer echoes in my ears: “I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me” (John 17:20-21). The Good News of Jesus Christ is made visible, in part, through our unity.
Yet this commitment is neither simple nor easy. How do we remain united in Christ while allowing enough differentiation to honor one another who hold diverse convictions?
The Role of Self-Differentiation
I once thought that holding a “big middle” — a space where everyone could find common ground — was the solution. But I’ve realized this often feels like control, more akin to “sitting on people” than setting them free. It may produce assent, but it stifles the freedom and responsibility necessary for spiritual maturing. What I desire for our people is not mere acquiescence but thriving, vibrant relationships with the living God.
Thriving occurs when people exercise both freedom and responsibility — what systems thinkers call “self-differentiation.” This means taking ownership of our thoughts and actions, even in challenging circumstances. We see how, while Dietrich Bonhoeffer was imprisoned, he lived into both freedom and responsibility as he prayed, thought, and wrote.
Unity in Christ Crucified
Our unity is centered on Christ crucified, risen, and ascended. The crucified Christ is the living Word who brings about what he proclaims: the self-emptying of God for the world, victory over sin and death, and the promise of new creation. This proclamation is the one-way love that empowers us to grow in responsibility for ourselves and our relationships.
Grounded in God’s grace, we are freed to show up genuinely— honest about our gifts and brokenness. Through the Holy Spirit, we are being transformed by the renewal of our minds. I am finding it a slow, humbling path that requires me to grow in clarity, forthrightness, and steadfast love. But accepting that we are all works in progress allows us to connect with one another genuinely, not as our wish-dream selves but as we truly are. This honesty fosters deep and trusting relationships, creating safe enough spaces for St. Paul’s call to mutual submission.
The Call to Mutual Submission
Paul’s exhortation in Ephesians offers a vision of unity through mutual submission: “Be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us. … Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph. 5:1-2, 21). Mutual submission requires standing honestly in our convictions and allowing others to do the same. It can be uncomfortable, but staying connected in disagreement builds trust and strengthens relationships.
This commitment to unity across difference is transformational. Relationships where we choose to stay engaged become means of grace through which God draws us closer to Christ and one another. The tension of disagreement becomes a crucible for the Holy Spirit’s work, transforming our hearts and minds.
Unity as a Missional Witness
Walking together across difference is a powerful witness to the world. Jesus prayed that our unity would allow the world to believe that he is the One whom God has sent to redeem the world. This unity also tests and refines us, drawing us nearer to God and enabling us, together, to discern his will. Paul exhorts us in Romans, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Rom. 12:2).
At St. Paul’s, we hold onto the hope that Christ is making all things new, including us. We are beggars, it is true. And God’s one-way love is making us new. The discipline of unity — even when uneasy — reveals God’s redemptive power to the world and transforms us into faithful witnesses of his grace.
The Rev. Kristine Blaess, DMin, is rector at St. Paul’s Church, Murfreesboro, Tennessee. She spent her first decade of ordained ministry in rural Idaho serving congregations in majority LDS communities. Her doctoral work emerged from her desire to help congregations flourish as their leaders grow ever deeper as disciples and disciplers of Jesus Christ.