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10 tips for domestic beauty

A joint effort of Amber Petiprin and Andrew Petiprin, with a few charming turns of phrase from Zack Guiliano

If beauty is going to save the world, how do we participate in it? We need people to deliver beauty on a large scale: a new generation of painters, designers, engineers, and especially architects. We need classically trained musicians, and money to support and deliver their talent to the masses.

But the most important place for beauty to flourish is in the home — in the daily life of the individual and the family. Henry Wadsworth Longellow’s poem “The Builders” makes this case. Longfellow notes that in art, order creates beauty on the smallest scale that reveals eternity:

Let us do our part as well,
Both the unseen and the seen;
Make the house where gods may dwell
Beautiful, entire, clean.

Else our lives are incomplete,
Standing in these walls of Time,
Broken stairways, where the feet
Stumble, as they seek to climb.

Reflecting on this poem provoked thoughts about all sorts of little things that matter to us in the life of our home and family. Here are some small practices that we have found helpful in establishing and maintaining a beautiful backdrop for daily life. The following items are easily achievable even in a small home or apartment and among people (like us!) of modest means.

1. Clean the floors.

Cleaning everything is important, but floors are essential. When you feel the tight grip of your foot against a wood floor or the soft feel of fresh carpet, you’re on the road to beauty. Run the vacuum or dust mop every day. “Cleanliness is next to godliness.” Maybe not; but it’s surely next to beauty.

2. Iron. Iron

Certainly iron the vast majority of your clothes; but this is only the beginning. Think Downton Abbey. Iron tablecloths and napkins for meals with guests. And go up a notch: There is perhaps no single thing that indicates a curated home whose family is focused on beauty like ironed sheets and pillowcases. It pays to invest in a high-quality iron. We leave it to you whether to iron your newspaper, Lord Grantham-style.

3. Don’t have things “on.”

Televisions should never be playing to an empty room. In restaurants, ask if you can sit out of sight of screens. Music is a little trickier. It is nice to have something beautiful in the background sometimes; but choose carefully. A minimalist, ambient music is far and away a different thing than a Beethoven symphony. For things that demand attention, give it.

4. Put things “on” while turning everything else “off.”

This is challenging in today’s world, but adhering to it creates much more beautiful experiences. Leave your cell phone in another room when you watch a movie. Don’t have your laptop open looking at email when you sit down to listen to a record.

5. Commit to listening to classical music.

It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. Read, research, and, most importantly, ask people who know about it. Prepare yourself to like it. And a related point: listen to as much music as you can on a good set of speakers instead of earbuds. It should go without saying that if anyone in your home is capable of performing beautiful music, it should be encouraged at every opportunity. As Roger Scruton has reminded us, music in the home used to a be a moment of ceremony: you “were giving and receiving life, sharing in something of great social significance.”

6. Keep it real.

Paper plates, plastic utensils, etc., should be used exceedingly rarely. When we arrived at our current church five years ago, we discovered a vast supply of perfectly decent china and metal cutlery, and an industrial dishwasher that had not been turned on for three years. We changed practices not only to avoid waste, but just as importantly to uphold a higher aesthetic. At home we use cloth napkins at every meal, even with our small children. Unsurprisingly, some of them are worn and lightly stained; but they preserve a dignity for even the simplest or quickest of suppers.

7. Own and display original artwork.Untitled

Best case scenario: work that you have done. If you have children, display their creations but change them often. Too easily a bulletin board or refrigerator can pile up and look messy. There is no reason why showing off children’s sweet labors should not also adhere to a basic aesthetic goal for the house.

8. Wear great shoes.

Of anything in your wardrobe (save underwear, perhaps), shoes are most important. Buy the best you can afford, and save up to buy better and nicer ones than your income would suggest you could or should have. Great shoes not only support true craftsmanship, but wearing them makes a statement to yourself and the world about your foundation and destination. You are standing on and walking on beauty.

9. Take drinking seriously, and ritualize it.

Own a tea set and use it (here’s some advice from George Orwell), have a decent bar (if you drink), use different glasses for different beverages. A little decorum goes a long way.

10. Have fresh flowers in focal points in your home.

I must have flowers, always and always,” says Claude Monet. He’s on to something there. We take this point to be self-evident.

Longfellow’s poem concludes:

Build today, then, strong and sure
With a firm and ample base;
And ascending and secure
Shall tomorrow find its place.

Thus alone can we attain
To those turrets, where the eye
Sees the world as one vast plain,
And one boundless reach of sky.

Almost every decision we make in life has an aesthetic component to it. Choose carefully and find life enriched. We win the battle for beauty in God’s creation one home at a time.

Amber Petiprin has degrees in film and theater from Valencia College and the University of Central Florida. She is mom to Alex and Aimee.

The Rev. Andrew Petiprin is a priest of the Diocese of Central Florida and rector of St. Mary of the Angels Episcopal Church in his hometown of Orlando. His other posts are here

The images were supplied by the authors.  

P.S. This is one of many Covenant posts on beauty and aesthetics. We confess to an obsession with beauty. Here are a few direct reflections we’ve offered, not to mention innumerable posts on beautiful religion, liturgy, incense, art, and many other things.


  1. I want to affirm the basic idea I think is behind this: live well. Live intentionally. Live with an eye to your actual embodied life. Live like there is no boundary between “spiritual” and “non-spiritual.”

    But I also want to challenge its enculturation. Maybe a Marxist would use the word “bourgeois,” but I don’t want to be that pejorative. But I want to point out that other cultures could (and do) find this offensive. This is a word spoken in a Western (upper?) middle class vernacular. It will take some work to translate it into different contexts, some of which will have a hard time hearing because of how they have been treated by that original culture.

    To give an example of maybe a better way, simple say for #5: Make music together. And maybe add, “Learn about a form of music you are unfamiliar with – jazz, blues, classical, pop, etc.”

  2. Sarah: Many thanks for the book recommendation. I’ll look forward to that.

    Charlie: Yes, I think “bourgeois” would seem fair…except that the middle and upper middle class in America don’t seem so keen on this sort of stuff anymore. It actually seems pretty bourgeois these days to laugh at oneself for not keeping a tidy house. So in a way, I think the old bourgeois sensibility is now quite a cultural niche. But you know, I’ve been accused more than once for idealizing middle brow culture of the past (https://covenant.livingchurch.org/2015/11/09/tv-culture/). But I do take your point. I would welcome a charitable reading (as I think you have given us!) that draws your attention from my (bourgeois?) particulars to your own, and to general points like these: Stuff matters. Beauty is orderly. We do not enjoy anything for its own sake, but use things deliberately and carefully.

  3. I think the post would have missed the mark and been rather boring if it had aimed for some general, non-cultural space and not taken a stance.

    Besides, the non-middle class can listen to classical music: Hell, that’s how I became a musician. Thank you, NPR. It is a particular (middle-class?) assumption to think that certain kinds of music may be only enjoyed by one class of folks.

    • Specific is good. And music isn’t the core issue I raise. It is the undercurrent of “buy stuff” (irons, shoes) – a point I didn’t see but people on my facebook wall saw.

      “It is a particular (middle-class?) assumption to think that certain kinds of music may be only enjoyed by one class of folks.” Maybe. Is it a Western assumption that classical music is the type of music that is “best for you?” It is certainly true that it is hard for non-middle-class and/or non Western people to “make classical music together.”

      • The reception of Western classical music around the world means that one can find quite a number of “non Western people” making classical music together. I think that, despite growing recognition of the integrity of local traditions, the European musical traditional is certainly appreciated globally and recognized as one of the most spectacular achievements of our culture.

        It’s rather like urging someone to the Church’s preservation of the classics, but that’s a whole other can of worms.

        • I’m not saying that Western classical music isn’t a “spectacular cultural achievement.” But “Quite a number of “non Western people”” and “quite a number of [“non middle class people”]” leaves a number of economic and cultural questions to be addressed.

          I bet we agree that Western pop music has been a poison to the cultural well of the rest of the world.

          The Church has done a much better job of being “multicultural” (if only by accident because, for example, Augustine was an African).

  4. As a recent retiree, I’m just now learning how to be a homemaker at our farm. This post was helpful to me. I understand that some of the tips may be particular to western culture, and perhaps could be considered “bourgeois”. However, it seems to me that many of the staples of gracious living, regardless of class (some of the most gracious homes are NOT upper-middle class), have been lost in the stress of modern dual-career, commuting lifestyles that demand full attention outside the home. Home has ended up being a place to crash occasionally between work and soccer practice and shopping and and and… But it should be a warm and welcoming destination in itself.

  5. A couple more thoughts:

    Charlie, I noticed a few comments on FB about buying things. I’ve had this conversation many times with people. One way or the other, we are spending our money, and I’ve found that you get what you pay for. I can’t tell you how many times someone has bragged to me about how great a haul they’ve had a the Dollar Store, or how many of something they have purchased for a particular price. Why not buy fewer things of higher quality? Why is it snobby to champion that? Take shoes: I have exactly five pairs of shoes – one pair of running shoes, one pair of inexpensive but durable, casual shoes, and three pairs of Allen Edmonds dress shoes. I take great care of them. They can even be recrafted by the manufacturer. Frankly, I’m a minimalist. I’m not into buying stuff – but I do want to buy the best I can and take care of it.

    I also noticed that a number of people on FB complained about ironing. One or two appealed to an almost ethical problem with it – namely, that time is better spent doing something else like spending time with loved ones. I utterly reject this kind of thinking. For one thing, it’s kind of an infinite regression, isn’t it? And as with money, we spend our time in all kinds of ways. Time spent taking care of our things and curating our homes can be of great benefit to our relationships. As with pastoral care, evangelism, or whatever, you always move out from the self in concentric circles. As with fixing the oxygen mask on children in an airplane – put your own on first!

    Ralphy: I really appreciate your comment, and your conclusion was in our heart as we wrote the piece. We need to rediscovery the centrality of home in our lives. It isn’t just a place to crash. Amen to that.

  6. I’ve lived a comfortable life so it is unlikely I would make these connections. But I can understand why someone from a different culture/economic context would be offended.


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