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Ambassadors for the Gospel

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Whereas in the course of the progress of the reign of God it becomes necessary for the Church to dissolve the bonds which hinder it from assuming an equal station among the principalities and powers of the earth;

And whereas

humanity’s pursuit of philosophical and scientific knowledge has caused the scales to fall from our eyes;

And whereas

the Church wrote the Bible and the Church can rewrite the Bible.

Be it resolved that

the Pauline epistles be removed from the Canon of Scripture;

And be it further resolved that

all references and allusions from these epistles be removed from the Book of Common Prayer, excepting 1 Corinthians 13, which may be retained as an Historical Document, as it has a form of godliness and great sentiment is attached to it;

And be it further resolved that

Paul (or Saul of Tarsus) be removed from the Kalendar of Holy Women, Holy Men as he is less than the least of any of the saints therein.

Explanation

We the people of The Episcopal Church, in order to promote more perfect diversity, establish justice, and secure the blessings of liberty, do ordain ourselves as ambassadors of the Gospel but recognize that we are ambassadors in bonds. Those bonds are the writings of one Paul (or Saul of Tarsus), a purported convert to the Gospel in the first century CE.

In former times, God spoke to humanity in various manners, but in these last days he speaks through us by his Spirit. While the power of the Gospel was sufficient to suffer the inclusion of Paul’s works in the Canon of Scripture for the past two millennia, it has become increasing clear to us that the name of God is blasphemed because of his writings in our day. Paul’s doctrine, manner of life, and purpose make it clear that for The Episcopal Church to retain his writings would be to make us unequally yoked to another gospel. In short, he is no fellow worker of ours in the reign of God.

He is rather a blasphemer, a persecutor, self-willed and constantly commending himself, and while supposedly professing the Gospel, erred concerning the faith, for which he provoked the wrath of God. Why else would he have endured such a string of hardships and punishments? He was a Pharisee of Pharisees and the early believers were not wary of his leaven—a leaven of malice—and the dream of God as proclaimed in the Christ Event suffered as a result. His writings put a veil between God and humanity and it has remained to this day. But we, by setting aside this veil, will more fully proclaim the liberty of the Spirit.

For we have not received a spirit of bondage by our adoption in the Baptismal Covenant. We are carried by the wind, walking in the Spirit while we are renewed in mind and aided in our infirmity. We will no longer be separated from the love of God or neglect the gift within us if we remove these hateful writings once and for all.

Paul, in fact, hated God’s gifts. He hated his own flesh—the temple of the Holy Spirit—grieving it. All things were not pure to him, therefore he was not pure. He dared to call something that God had made unclean. For this reason he has no place in the reign of God. He was abnormally born, and had the Church rightly tested for his spiritual DNA they could have aborted his ministry, and spared millions of people the pains that its birth wrought.

His hatred for bodies is made manifest in his hatred of women. His writings are full of approbation for women, consigning them to childbearing, commanding their silence, offering them no space to teach or share in Gospel ministry, and speaking no good word to them—not even a simple greeting.

His hatred for bodies was also evident in his hatred of the exercise of the gift of sexuality. In this arena, he would have us be ignorant. He determined to know nothing but an atrophied triad of virginity, procreation, and chastity. By granting his writings entrance into the Canon of Scripture, the Church retained these relics of humanity’s patriarchal, tribal past. Is it any wonder that when the Church speaks about sexuality today our speech sounds rude and foolish?

The writings of Paul are judgmental and erect stumbling blocks. Lacking the fullness of the Spirit of God, he speaks shame to us. The Episcopal Church, having divided the word of truth, should put off this old man, removing this thorn from our side. Having done so, we can remove thorns from all those we come into contact with and promote diversity, justice, and liberty. Woe to us if we do not preach the Gospel.

A satire occasioned by the Presiding Bishop’s sermon in Curaçao, Diocese of Venezuela.

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